My thoughts on “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success” by Adam Grant
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Adam M. Grant is a very well respected professional in the psychology field, in particular, organisational psychology.
In this book, Grant divides people into three categories: takers, matchers, and givers. The descriptions of these categories are intuitive. Takers have the tendency to claim as much credit as they can for the work they have done; matchers tend to give back equally to those who contributed to their success; givers are liberal in giving their time and energy for others.
Which category comes out top of the success ladder? The givers. The givers may start out slow in climbing the ladder because they sacrifice their own time and energy to help someone else out. However, their gift of giving is rarely unknown to their peers, and their constant giving propels them towards success in more indirect ways, such as through good reputation, recognition of contributions to others, and social status.
This is what I find most magnetic about successful givers: they get to the top without cutting others down, finding ways of expanding the pie that benefit themselves and the people around them. Whereas success is zero-sum in a group of takers, in groups of givers, it may be true that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Adam Grant
But guess which one comes out at the bottom of the ladder? Well… also the givers. Some givers give so much of their time and energy to others, they become overwhelmed. They can experience burnout, or they can get burnt by takers, and remain stuck at the bottom of the ladder.
Here lies the difference between coming out top or bottom of the ladder: whether they take care of their own interests. Grant further subcategorises givers into two categories: selfless givers and otherish givers. Selfless givers give their time and energy to others without much consideration for their own needs, and leave their energy tank dry and empty. Otherish givers, on the other hand, are focused on their own interests as well others’ interests. They use their own interests to guide their giving, and are careful not to give unconditionally all the time. They are careful of their interactions with takers, or they are adept in replenish their energy tank.
This book strikes out to me for the realisation that while giving is good, we have to give within our own capacities. We should not take care of others to the point where we neglect our own needs. I have observed a selfless giver and an otherish giver, and the results are in clear support of Grant’s theories. The selfless giver was taking on too much responsibilities frequently, burning out all the time. He was well-liked but friends often took pity on the poor soul. The otherish giver built an exceptional bond within the team by giving in personal ways, creating a high energy and highly motivated team.
The power of giving I have observed, first-hand, is amazing. Good news is, giving begets giving, and this compound effect should not be underestimated, especially in corporate environments where the culture encourages giving.